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I'VE NEVER been able to discover just what there is about an income tax return that drains most Americans of all self-confidence. Perhaps it's the idea of the traditional red tape behind so many governmental processes. At any rate, I'm glad the average person feels he needs assistance in preparing his return. For three years I've been giving that assistance—and building up a profitable little business.

Now, before you, my readers, start holding your collective heads and groaning, let me tell you a secret I really shouldn't divulge. Tax work isn't so difficult. Once you learn the rules they grow easier to apply with each form 1040 you prepare. And you become a much better educated individual. Who knows just when you might get a chance to sue someone for alienation of affections? Isn't it good to know that if you win your damages will be exempt from any profit sharing with Uncle Sam?

I DIDN'T intend to get into the income tax business at all. I stumbled into it while I was on the track of a bookkeeping assignment. Because of a physical handicap I found it difficult to obtain regular employment and I was considering the purchase and operation of a bookkeeping-by-mail plan. Before doing so, I went for advice to a community leader and former Commissioner of Revenue.

Mr. E. rather left me to my own decision concerning the bookkeeping plan but he urged me to study income tax regulations, saying that once I got started I would make more from that business in two and a half months than I would from bookkeeping during the remainder of the year. He had reason to encourage competition—poor man! Although he has now retired as Commissioner of Revenue he sometimes had as many as fifteen people waiting for him to help them with their tax returns before he'd had breakfast.

So I wrote to the Superintendent of Documents, Washington 25, D. C. for the little booklets. Your Federal Income Tax and Bulletin F, a government schedule of the useful lines of depreciable property. I also wrote to the Collector of Internal Revenue for copies of "all types of tax forms with instructions for preparing each form." I don't think the collector sent quite all the types but he sent a goodly number of those most frequently used.

Presto! I was in business. Total investment: 50 cents. The tax forms were free. I have since added to my library "The Farmer's Tax Handbook" and "Your Income Tax," both by J. K. Lasser, but the booklets I still turn to most frequently are the 50-cent government publications.

Perhaps this is as good a place as any to confess my thwarted yearnings toward the law. That profession has always appealed to me but for financial reasons it was impossible for me to attend law school. Psychologists might say my income tax work is a sublimation of my legalistic drive. They would be wrong. There is nothing sublime about income tax . . . there are touches of the ridiculous sometimes. But all in all, it is an interesting and profitable sideline for anyone who likes clerical work. It is ideal for the private or public bookkeeper or stenographer and a paying proposition for the person who gets satisfaction from figuring out his own return and lending his friends a hand with theirs.

THE FIRST problem confronting me was that of setting up an office, and, as I wasn't at all certain what sort of financial success I was going to have, I wanted to keep expenses to an absolute minimum. It has been a cherished ambition to set up my law office in Bridgewater, Virginia, in the small town where I attended high school and college, so it seemed natural to establish my tax service there. I paid a visit to a friend of my mother's who had recently purchased a downtown store and she let me have a corner in the store. The table was more than a trifle wobbly and the chairs weren't padded but then it isn't traditional to be comfortable while you're sweating out income tax. I inserted a brief advertisement in the classified section of the local paper, placed hand printed notices in several business places and moved in on January 12, 1949. That afternoon I had my first client—and I still have him.

Business was slow that first year but I gained confidence and the news of my tax service got around. Those two months laid the groundwork for seasonal employment that grows. There's pride in seeing clients come back year after year—and bring friends with them.

In June of 1949 a flash flood swept through my little home town and after the debris was cleared away some businesses changed hands. "My" store was now located in the very center of town but there was another vacant corner for me when January, 1950, rolled around. I brought new customers to the store. Helpfulness works both ways.

That year I gave my business a name "Bridgewater Bookkeeping Service" and I sent out printed cards to a mailing list obtained from the local telephone directory announcing that I was available for:

Bookkeeping
   Balance Sheets
   Profit and Loss Statements
Federal Tax Returns
State Tax Returns
Limited amount of typing.

I did not send cards to anyone in the near-by city of 10,000, Harrisonburg, Virginia, but confined my advertising to the surrounding communities which boasted no lawyers or accountants. Here my sharpest competition comes from Mr. E., the former Commissioner of Revenue. He is widely known by virtue of his many years in public office. But holding down several daytime jobs and doing tax work on the side is too great a burden and in so far as possible he is "pushing" clients my way. He has long been threatening a winter vacation. If he takes that vacation, I'm in—and I may have fifteen clients waiting for me before breakfast.

Although I don't have Mr. E.'s clientele, I have found myself up against rush situations, usually on Saturdays or on March 14. With a group of clients waiting, there may be a nervous tension, a desire to hurry, hurry. I don't yield to it. To do so might mean haphazard work, that would cause the returns to "bounce" back on clients. Neither do I take expensive short cuts such as lumping new buildings and equipment with old when setting up a depreciation schedule. One or two clients may get up and leave but the others sit it out. I have a reputation for saving people money. That's usually worth waiting for.

Right here I'd like to say something about my advertising appeal. I have always clung to conservative slogans such as "Know your deductions. They save you money." I have never boasted, "Let me save you dollars." That would be a big letdown, for there are some people for whom I can't save dollars, not even cents. They are the workers who do not have deductible business expenses and whose non-business deductions do not exceed the 10 per cent automatically allowed by use of the tax table on the back of all 1040 forms.

As WITH any other really successful venture, tax work calls for personal integrity. Most people are honest and will lean over backward to be sure they don't cheat Uncle Sam. They have to be watched to make certain they don't cheat themselves. Only once did anyone ask me how I figured taxes—the straight or the crooked way. I laughed it off by saying, "The straight way. I don't have enough brains to do it the crooked way."

Almost as important as honesty is loyalty to clients as expressed in terms of respect for their confidences. There is something in my nature that cannot abide a "nosey" person so you can imagine how I felt when someone said to me; "Oh, you get to know what everybody makes." That person should try memorizing the data from even fifty returns. I haven't that good a memory but if I had I certainly should not use it to my clients' embarrassment.

Dependability is another trait which I have tried to cultivate. If I have promised to do a return by a certain time, I do it, although it may mean overtime work for me. Many people request their state tax returns at the same time I prepare their federal ones. I save busy people time—and receive extra payment, "tips" for myself—by having them sign a blank state return form. They trust me to fill in the form from the carbon copy of the federal return and mail it in plenty of time to make the deadline.

ONE OF my biggest problems when I started my tax work was that of deciding on fees. I had no ideas of my own so I went to Mr. E. for advice. He set his fees according to the amount of work involved and I adapted his method. I charge 50 cents for the very simple form 1040A. I can do one of those in five to ten minutes. I charge $2 to $3 for farmer's 1040F's and, for long form, 1040's. I can do about three of those in an hour. I charge $5-$10 for partnerships, more involved problems and returns of people who waste my time while they sit figuring things they should have figured before they came to see me.

I have often felt that perhaps I "undercharge" my clients but then I haven't the overhead, the law school training, the law library for which an attorney must compensate. It makes me feel pretty good to come in on a busy day and make $25 between 9 o'clock and 1. The thing about income tax work is that it grows. My second year showed an increase of $125 over the first; my third an increase of $175 over the second. If I can continue my work it is quite possible that before too long I'll be making $1,000. That wouldn't be bad for two and a half months of work.

I'm a little young to be considered an institution but the last three years have earned me the title of "the income tax lady" and I have a definite tie-in, in people's minds, with the store where I stay. Each year, a couple of weeks before January 1, I post a notice in the store just to remind my clients that the status quo is being preserved. (Business really doesn't get started until about the middle of January). Next year I again plan to run my advertisement in the local paper but now that I am established my best form of advertising comes from my satisfied clients—bless 'em!

A WORD about supplies and services. I am convinced that I have made many an extra 50 cents by the simple expedient of giving pre-addressed envelopes with each tax return. Many people who wouldn't object too strenuously to sitting down and figuring out a 1049A don't want to bother tracking down an envelope and looking up the address. They'd rather go down and get "that girl" to do it for them. And such is the awe with which people regard governmental reports that they often inquire anxiously "Will 3 cents postage take it?"

The first year I started giving envelopes I bought them at the store where my "office" was located. The large size which I used came in packs of sixteen for 25 cents. I addressed them by hand or by typewriter. This year I contacted the local printer and ordered 500 envelopes with printed address. He supplied and printed them for $4.50. I had been paying approximately $1.50 per hundred for unaddressed ones through retail channels.

I address envelopes for state returns myself as my clients live in two different counties and the Commissioners of Revenue have different addresses. I type the addresses during my spare time. This is one of the legitimate short cuts which save minutes and poise on busy days. Another is to keep carbon paper inserted between unused tax forms. I keep these prepared forms on the top shelf of my desk and as soon as a new client sits down I am ready to go to work.

I make a carbon copy of every return, even 1040A's. It is especially important to have a copy when depreciation schedules are involved. These should be continued and added to from year to year. Two carbons, one for the client, one for my file, are easily made on a typewriter. I use a ball point pen for handwritten carbons but the second carbon is not very distinct. Many clients are glad to have me file their copies for another year but if I do not have a distinct copy of the depreciation schedule I make one. Two or three minutes this year may mean a saving of half an hour next year—to say nothing of keeping straight with Uncle Sam.

These are legitimate time savers as opposed to hasty short cuts which cost clients money. I try never to be too busy to stay alert. This past year I saved a client $55 simply by changing the place in which he had entered items on his returns. As a poultry grower, he had sold some used equipment, listing this transaction in schedule 4, page 1 of form 1040F. Knowing that the equipment had been used in his business for several years, I listed it in schedule D as a long term capital gain. By doing this I needed to report only one-half of the profit as taxable income.

I questioned the same client, "Does this amount in schedule A of form 1040F include any livestock you bought instead of raising?" It did and by listing it in schedule 4 of the same page I was able to deduct the purchase price and reduce the taxable profit. My shifting of items from one schedule to another resulted in a nice saving for my client, some of which he passed along to me in the form of a tip.

I DO not think that anyone will ever know all there is to know about income tax rules and regulations. During my first year I used "working papers," a trial draft, before making a final copy. Now, with three years of experience behind me, I feel that I can almost do tax returns in my sleep but new problems still arise. There is help as near as the nearest telephone. The Treasury Department maintains an office in each centrally located city or town and their staff is courteous and well informed as to current Treasury rulings. Of course they can't sit down and spend half an hour with each individual just to save him money. That's my job.